My participation in the birthing process gives me mixed feelings about motherhood.

It felt like someone had clutched my heart and was squeezing the blood from it. I felt lightheaded and clammy. An overwhelming feeling of empathy, pain, and joy washed over me as the patient’s neck doubled in size from pushing. I pulled her legs back further into position to aid her strain. She grasped my arm and looked me dead in my eye as a loud growl escaped from her throat. A higher-pitched cry belted from her pelvis as her son was thrusted into this cruel world. I burst into silent tears as her son was placed on…